My Impressions of Vietnam

Motor bikes/scooters:  millions of them, everywhere; on the roads, sidewalks, entrance ways, even in our hotel lobbies.  Literally seas of them!

Traffic, chaotic traffic: nothing can prepare you for coping with Vietnamese traffic other than, we're told, if you have experienced traffic in Shanghai.  The one and only rule is; the little guy gives way to the bigger guy.  There's a t-shirt stating "Vietnamese traffic laws" and it shows a traffic light with the words next to the green light "I can go", next to the amber light, "I can go" and then next to the red light "I still can go".  The funniest thing about it is, it's absolutely true!  I've never seen so many motor bikes in my life, all oblivious to any form of traffic law.   We thought that Indonesia was bad but that was baby stuff in comparison.

Drivers:  trains couldn't go too far wrong but every other driver, especially bus drivers, have a permanent death wish!  We had thought about hiring a car amongst us but not one of the six of us was prepared to take on the driver's job.  We all want to live to see tomorrow.  Later we discovered that you can't hire a car without a local driver anyway - wise rule.

Things transported by motor bikes:  as many as six people on one bike (2 adults & 4 children), boxes piled over ten feet high with almost an equal amount to the sides.  Huge pot-planted trees, refrigerators, queen-sized mattresses, 5-metre lengths of pipes, wardrobes, pigs, goats, baskets of chickens and ducks.  Cooking apparatus and the food to go with it, anything your imagination can conjure up and more.  One of the cutest was a purpose-made baby's high chair which sat in front of the driver; the western world would scream.

Street wiring:  imagine a massive plate of mixed up thin spaghetti, then add several packages of two-minute noodles, now get some kids to play with it and string it all around the place.  The end result would be an approximation of what phone wiring looks like around the poles in the cities.  Vietnam's own unique version of Telecom.

Rice paddies:  terraced hillsides, lush patches of green, men and women planting and tending water logged fields.  The classic paddy field scenes, spectacular.  

Motor bikes:  oh, I think I've mentioned them.

Rice:  prior to 1997 when the political situation in Vietnam changed radically, the country depended heavily on imported rice as local production was grossly insufficient and rice is, by far, the most important food commodity in this country.  Today, less than twenty years later, Vietnam is the largest exporter of rice in the world.  Quite a feat.

Coffee:  we had no idea, but Vietnam is a major coffee producer and has ousted Columbia's position to become number two just behind Brazil.  The way they serve it, (sickly sweet with condensed milk unless asked not to) the coffee is very, very strong, even more so than expresso but coffee lovers worldwide enjoy it in a more refined version.  One of the best is weasel coffee which passes through that little critter before it's roasted (the beans, not the weasel).  I'm not a coffee drinker but Paul sampled it and declared it great.

Grave yards:  the most elaborate gravestones we've ever seen and they're placed anywhere and everywhere.  Rarely did we see a rice paddy without a couple of huge, decorative grave monuments plunked in the middle.  Many were far more elaborate than the homes.

Motor bikes:  gosh, I may have mentioned these, they just keep springing to mind.

Buy from meeee-eeeee, buy from meeee:  these plaintive words were repeated over and over again whenever we stopped to view something.  It became a bit of a joke.

Flowers:  flowers, flowers everywhere:  just prior to TET was the annual flower festival so everyone had displays, then TET itself generated even more.  But throughout, the Vietnamese seem to love flowers.  Every structure had some, and wherever there was a traffic circle or centre division in a more modern road, there were flowers and beautifully maintained box hedges forming some incredible artistic gardens with huge flowered centre-pieces.

Cleanliness in the cities:  not something one would generally think of as most rubbish is dumped out onto the roads during the day making the streets an absolute eyesore with some rather unpleasant odours thrown in.  However, little fairies come along regularly sweeping it all up and carting it away.  These fairies (generally women) can be found braving the motor bikes to sweep everything to the sides for cleaning.  They even ring a little bell to warn the shopkeepers and residents of their impending arrival who then rush out to dump more into the streets for pick up.  If you're out early in the mornings, you'll find the streets spotless.  Sadly, this doesn't hold true of the countryside and outer edges of cities where plastic pollution is rife.

Motor bikes:  have I told you about motor bikes yet?

Pho:  this is their national dish.  There are pho stands on every street corner and a dozen in between too.  It's a noodle soup which comes in a myriad of varieties but is primarily a meat broth with a bit of meat, vegetables and lots of noodles.  This is served with more fresh veggies, lemon wedges, chili and garlic.  The streets are full of people eating pho at all times of the day, sitting on little kndergaten-sized stools or chairs around kindergarten-sized tables.  They drop all their tissues and bones right where they're sitting (charming) so everything looks quite disgusting but the food is good and don't forget those little fairies who prowl the streets at night cleaning up the mess.

The Dong:  Dong is the name of their currency.  It's one of those with umpteen dozen zeros attached so that when you buy a beer for example and they ask for 12,000 dong, your first reaction is "how much!" until you realise that it's only about 55 cents.

Face masks:  the cities's air is heavily polluted so many, many locals (especially women) wear face masks.  These come in a variety of colours and patterns and are worn everywhere, even on a plane.  Apparently the girls also wear them to stop their skin from getting too brown - the whiter, the better.

The things they eat:  bugs, snakes, rats, frogs, worms, little birds, eels, turtles, you name it.  They purportedly also eat dogs and cats but, thankfully, we saw no evidence of that.

Fresh Produce: some of the best we've ever seen.  Fruit we recognised and a lot we didn't.  First class vegetables of every description with lots and lots of greenery.

Motor bikes:  oops, think I've covered this one.

The beautiful people of Sa Pa:  wonderful and friendly, dainty little people who are hard-working, happy and colourful.

Sharks:  as much as we'd met many wonderful people, sadly we also met those on the take, the ones who impose heavy levies because of the 'skin factor'.  Or more so, the ones who quote one price but deny it when it comes time to settle the bill and, fairly commonly, those who hand you change but always make the mistake in their favour.  Beware the sharks, they are out in full force.

Tourists:  where do they all come from?  And if tourism is currently in its infancy having really only become possible at the end of last century, I shudder to think what it'll be like in a few years time.  Unfortunately, if they don't put some controls on it, they may be in jeopardy of ruining the very industry they're trying to create.

Misspelling of English signs, menus or whatever:  well this was an immense source of amusement for all of us.  One at the first hotels stated that we should perform "no sinful events" while in their establishment and a cocktail menu served "Blobby Marry's". I'd have to list hundreds to even touch sides but suffice it to say, there were very few English translations that were even remotely correct.

Motor bikes:  by now I think you've got the message - the place is overrun with motor bikes!

Farewell Vietnam.